Writing a blog is an interesting and (clearly) difficult project, at least for me. I began the blog just over six months ago - I signed up to a web host and word press - and was all excited about where it would go. But by ‘where it would go’ I had only abstract fantasies. I hadn’t thought deeply about what I wanted the blog to actually be. Was it primarily personal or professional? Was it going to be about politics and economics? Or literature and video games? Was it primarily practice for my writing that would find publication elsewhere or would it become the core of my work?
I guess it’s not that I hadn’t thought deeply but that I thought too much. Or rather, that I had a clear idea of the options in front of me but was unwilling to commit to any one path. Every possible path can be taken at once in the mind but not in reality.
A therapist once used the metaphor with me (about personal relationships though the premise is general) of a room in which there were several open doors. One could go through any of the doors, but then the others would close. The only alternative was to stay in the room indefinitely, not going anywhere.
My reflex here is to think that I should go read some Kierkegaard since this was a major concern of his. Except I already know the basics of his answer: you are making choices in life whether you want to or not; they cannot be escaped. Each choice entails other choices not taken and this means regret. This is life. Accept it rather than resent it.